"Come What May, and Love It"

It was about 2 weeks after my surgery that I realized that I was alive and I existed. I was never in a coma but I guess I just never was fully there. I think it was a blessing from Heavenly Father so I wouldn’t be shocked and wouldn’t feel the pain of what just happened during those first couple of days. After I realized I existed I began to remember everything, the dance-class I went to that morning, the headache, the laying on the floor to get comfortable, and then passing out. It started to all make sense but I was still confused about what this all meant. When I was in the hospital I cried a lot. At first I would cry a couple times every hour, then slowly about once an hour, then once a day, then once a week, and then every other week. Now, since I can see the end of this trial is closer I cry now about once a month. The first months after the accident were incredibly hard and I would read the talk, “Come What May, and Love It” by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for the LDS Church for comfort. To read the talk, here is the link:
"Come What May, and Love it" By Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
It helped me get through the days in the hospital. A family that went to the same church as I did at home came to visit me while I was in the hospital. I told them about the talk I like to read and since the dad of the family, Kevin Reid, owns a jewelry shop, he had a ring made for me with the words, “Come What May, and Love It”. Since they had given me the ring, I haven’t taken it off because it helps remind me that there is a reason I’m going through this trial and I need to trust in the Lord to get through it.

My Wonderful Family

I have the best support in the world. I have been really blessed with a family that helps me with anything that I need during this whole ordeal. I have 4 sisters and no brother’s but my 3 older sisters are married, so it feels like now I have brothers because they tend to treat me like I’m a little sister. Above is a picture of me and all my sisters and the grandchildren. From left to right my sisters are my younger sister Rachel, Aubrey that is my older sister, me, Sarah my older sister and Marie that is my older sister.



I’m the auntie of the craziest, loudest, cutest kids ever. The above picture, Left to right is Logan, my older sister Marie’s little boy. Next to him are Amber and Landon who are my older sister Sarah’s little kids. The picture just below that is Blake; he is my older sister Aubrey’s little boy and I always want to smother him with kisses because he is so cute but Aubrey doesn’t let me.


My older sisters Marie and Sarah are prego with GIRLS. We are really glad because my niece Amber needs some girls to play with. They are both due really close together so those two little girls will be really close in age and will be hopefully the best of friends.


Last but not least, my parents. They have been AMAZING! Now, I think nurses are great but no one loves you as much as your parents do. My mom stayed with me the whole 2 and ½ months I was in the hospital and if she wasn’t there, well, I just might not be here. For instance, the first time they removed the breathing tube I was not ready to have it removed and that whole night I was chocking on air, gasping for breath. My mom was scared the whole night and finally ran over and told the nurses I was not able to breathe on my own yet, I needed the breathing tube again. Then another time, after my operation, I was on a whole lot of meds and they made me hallucinate a lot. Being stuck in the mentality that I was still completely normal, I tried to get out of bed to go to the store and a few times I succeeded. Then, it was my mom who was the one who found me lying on the floor since I could not walk or even stand, there would be no way I could get back in bed by myself. Then there has been my dad, he has been the one to push me everyday. Really, I would not be doing as well as I’m doing without him. Everyday, he took me to practice walking and now we are working on running because we are determined that I’m going to run that 5k I’m planning on running in August. Even when I’m in the worst mood ever he still helps me. Even though sometimes I don’t even act like it, I am really grateful for that. So there you go, if you were wondering, that is my family!

A little something for me while I was in the hospital

I promise, if you don’t know already, the best thing for a recovering person from brain surgery is lots and lots of sleep. That is all I would do the first months after my operation. Sometimes it got really annoying how much I needed to sleep. While I was in the hospital my days would consist of sleep, eating, therapy, and going to bathroom. My life was way boring. So, the highlight of my day would be when I had visitors but sometimes the desire to sleep would come over me and as much as I would try to fight it, it would usually win. One day, while being in the hospital, I was asleep and my older sister Marie and her husband Dane said they had a surprise for me. Since I wanted to keep sleeping I told them I didn’t care and they were like, ‘k, whatever.” Suddenly I heard a voice talking to me on the computer and was suddenly awake and pulled the laptop over to me to see what it was. My little sister Rachel had wrote the singer Kerli and told her my situation. Rachel knew I liked Kerli’s music because while having her own style, her lyrics are really positive.
I went to Kerli's concert a little under a year and half ago and met her. It was a halloween party so we got to dress up for it. Here is the picture we took

Kerli made a video for me while being in the hospital; it was really nice of her, so here it is below:

What I have been up to..

On Saturday, January 23rd I went to my little sister, Rachel's cheer competition. She is on her High School Varsity Squad. They did really good! Above is a picture of me and her after she had competed.



Last Sunday I taught the lesson to the yw laurels class in my ward. I made Valentines Day cookies for all the girls. I am so glad because last Valentines Day I was stuck in bed, unable to talk, walk, or move at all so ANYTHING will be better than last Valentines Day and making some cookies would be near to impossible! During the surgery to remove the AVM they had to remove a part of my cerebellum. Here is a little health class for ya, something I never cared about before until now. The cerebellum is located at the base of the brain and controls balance and coordination. The right side of the cerebellum controls the right side of the body and the left controls the left side unlike the rest of the brain that controls opposite sides. The cerebellum is unique because it’s actually is considered its own brain and is called the “small brain”. Since a part of my cerebellum was removed, all my motor skills were affected and since it was on the right side my right side was even more affected. During the first months after the operation I had severe ataxia. My right arm was super shaky and uncoordinated. I remember in the hospital I tried to open a wrapper and kept dropping it because I could not hold onto it. Then one time I tried to clap my hands but missed them both completely. I remember the first time I tried tying my shoe it took me a ½ hour because I couldn’t hold onto the shoelace. Well, I wanted to just give you a little piece of my experience so hopefully this gives you an idea.

It is ME and im now updating everyone on my recovery!

Hello everybody! For the first time it is ME, Heidi, writing to you all about my recovery. Ever since my accident has happened I’ve had my family do the blog for me because I did not care to have a blog. Now, since I have the energy to update my blog I figure I should be the one updating my blog. So, from now on, just know you will be hearing from me. January 26th is my year mark for when my accident happened, FINALLY! It seems like time has gone by super slow but it’s coming slowly but surely. The reason why I’m so excited about my year mark is because more time gone by is the more I’ve progressed. So, for those of you who had forgotten, I’ll give a short summary of what had happened and I’m really sorry if I repeat something because I have no idea what is on here already. January 26, 2009 around 10am I was preparing for a test in my ballroom dance class at BYU-Idaho when I started to get this horrible headache. I passed out and then was flown to the nearest hospital where they did an emergency surgery. The surgery lasted for 6.5 hours. They removed something called an AVM (Altravenous-Malformation) which is similar to an Aneurysm but it was a birth defect and really rare. A piece of my Cerebellum was also removed which controls all the physical movements of the body. After it was over the doctor came out and told my parent that I wouldn’t make it through the night, and if I did I would be a vegetable the rest of my life. It has truly been a miracle because I started to progress and I’ve been recovering ever since. Someday I’ll make a full recovery and I know this because I had many priesthood blessings saying I would. I would like to say thank you to everyone that prayed for me and all the support. I know every little thing has helped me get this far now and continues to help in my recovery. Right now I’m doing very well. I still get off balance at times but my walking has been getting a lot smoother. My talking is still really slow so I can pro-nonce all the words efficiently. My right side (it was the side affected) is not as shaky and uncoordinated as it was in the beginning. My eyes are doing a TON better, I now only see double at some angles in the distance and double on my sides. I have a goal to run a 5k in August and my physical therapist is really positive I can do it. Well, I’ll update from now on and sooner next time!

Heidi spending time with the family!