On my mind...

I am sorry, but today on my blog I have no pictures or anything to show. I just have a lot of thoughts I want to write down. Today I had a dentist appointment and then after my mom and I went to my grandma’s house for a visit. We all had a really good talk and we were talking about my recovery and she told me she thought that I was amazing for what I had gone through blah, blah, blah but I never told her how amazing she is and what I thought about her for what she has done, for her selflessness of taking care of someone else. I hope that my Grandma Mary-Jane gets to read this since I never told her what I thought to her face. My Grandma Mary-Jane and Grandpa Ronald have been taking care of my Aunt Stephanie who is severely handicap for more than 30 years. She is like a big baby, probably 2 years old trapped in a grown woman’s body. They have to feed her, dress her, bathe her, do everything for her! Now that is complete selflessness right there. I mean, being a mother is very selfless but hopefully as they grow older the child will become more independent and the parent will gain back their freedom as time goes on. Then, hopefully around 18, 19, 20ish the child will move out and start a life of their own but for my grandparents that never happened. My Grandma said today that she can’t remember the last time she felt totally free while having Stephanie to take care of. Lately, a couple events have made me have a lot on my mind. Some things when I think about makes me very frustrated. Lately, I have been thinking about how unfair life seems to be at times, like really, why some of us have to suffer so much and we never did something wrong and some people abuse their agency and it never seems like they suffer as much! I mean, really, why has my Grandparents had to live more than 30 years of their lives being controlled by the needs of someone else? Really, WHY??? Why does their freedom get taken away when they never abused it in the first place? Anyway, I shouldn’t complain, time will tell all answers, and if not in this life, we will know in the next. They never complain though, so I shouldn’t either. All I know, they are angels that will be blessed immensely! And just so people know, I am really grateful for what I have gone through and what I go through right now, I have learned a lot and it has helped me to realize so many thing I don’t think I would have realized never going through this stroke before. Anyway, I can’t remember if I ever mentioned on this blog about how miraculous our bodies are. So, if I did I am sorry but I am going to mention it again. I think I told this story before but I am going to tell it again. It was about six months after my stroke and I still was using my walker, I couldn’t stand on my own. I remember talking to my older sister, Aubrey about how if my stroke had caused my legs to become paralyzed (and I am so grateful it didn’t) I would become an amazing tennis player or become something amazing with my arms. Then she said to me “think of how jealous Satan is, we can accomplish so many amazing things with just a small portion of our bodies” or something like that. Our bodies are SO AMAZING! He is so incredibly jealous that we can accomplish so much with just a small portion of our bodies because he can’t do anything he tries to get us, all with bodies, to become like him and destroy and ruin our amazing functioning bodies! We all are sooooo blessed and life is wonderful!!! Anyway, that is my thoughts, thanks for listening! ;)